Swapped
by 76percentorganic
Summary: Their souls were exchanged with each other. People don’t know what’s going over them, why they act so different now. The person responsible for this is away on many a mission, and now they’ll be stuck like this for a while. TemaShika
1. An Unthinkable Exchange

My arched eyebrow twitched, my aggression bubbling to a hot, unpleasant boil. I couldn't believe him, I'd given many breaks before, what with being lazy was his nature, I guessed he couldn't really help it, but now I couldn't take it anymore.

I watched him walk away slowly, in a slouched position, his hands tucked in his pockets in his usual fashion, my darkened teal gaze was locked onto his back, and I wished, for the moment, that my gaze would pierce through his flesh, and make him turn around and finish this argument without just looking at me remotely and cutting me off short by saying something along the lines of 'Troublesome…'. A few moments ago had been a prime example of such in instance.

What had we been doing before this moment of my, eh, unleashed anger? What possible thing could have set me off like this? Ha. The answer to _that_ simple question was easy enough for me to answer.

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_**Flashback;;**_

"_Why do you waste your time gazing at the clouds, when you could be training?" I asked, waving my hand up vaguely to the sky, the place to where his concentration was directed. I'd found him laying on a hill, and now I stood beside him, talking to him because I was bored. Konohagakure was definitely __**not**__ the most exciting place in the world. He didn't even bother to tear his gaze away from the clouds above to acknowledge my presence. Let me tell you, it took a __**lot**__ out of me to not pounce on him then and there._

"_Did you even hear me?" I inquired with a sharp tone in my voice, peering down at him, now bringing my hand down to wave in front of his face. __**This**__ seemed to finally get his attention, and, strangely enough, I felt a sort of satisfied pleasure._

_He turned his head to the side a bit to look up at me as I loomed over him, an exasperated look glimmering in his eyes. "What do you want, Temari?" he solicited, his voice sounding as bored and monotone as ever._

_I blinked a few times; with each blink I fought down the need to give him a good fist-full in the mouth. "Well, I want you to answer the question I just asked." I stated firmly, crouching down beside him. That action earned me an irked look from him, but he said nothing on that matter of me choosing to sit beside him. "So, are you going to answer my question, or not? Because the longer you make this linger, the longer I'll be here." I smirked at this thought._

"_It's just something I enjoy doing. As for the matter of training, if you're so worried about things like that, then why aren't you training yourself?" He retorted, turning his eyes back to the hazy blue, cloud-covered sky._

"_Shikamaru," I began, chortling only slightly, "I've already trained today, besides __**I'm**__ on a little vacation here from Sunagakure, so at least __**I**__ have a reason for not using this time for necessary training." At this, he propped himself up on his elbows and shot me his, eh, 'famous' jaded look, "Troublesome…" he muttered beneath his breath, "If you're that worried and concerned about the progress of my training, then you should spar me," he shrugged, a vaguely amused look on his face, "Anyways…"_

"_Concerned with your training? Not at all, in fact, seeing you get your butt kicked would be some much needed entertainment." I smiled and gripped his arm, pulling him up with me, "But I __**will**__ take you up on that sparring offer. I've been wondering if I could beat you and your Shadow Techniques yet or not."_

_A shock look played on Shikamaru's face, "Ugh... I wasn't actually being serious, Temari." He sighed, trying to lower himself back to the ground. But I wasn't going to let him have his lethargic way, "C'mon, Lazybones, you shouldn't have said it if you didn't mean it."_

_He rolled his eyes, "That little nickname isn't going to stick, is it?"_

_I smirked tugging him up a bit once again so he stood up straight, er, stood up slouched, I suppose._

"_Would you rather me start using a suffix with your name, Shikamaru-__**kun**__?" I asked with an impish smile, stressing the 'kun' a bit more than needed. You know, if Shikamaru hadn't been the lazy, boring person he was, then I was sure a look of horror would have crossed onto his face. Instead, he just sighed and yanked his arm away from me._

"_Troublesome woman, to think I was enjoying myself a bit." He huffed, turning to walk away, "Worse than my mother… Just troublesome. Troublesome…" He stated quietly, turning and walking away, slipping his hands into his pockets, not even sparing me a second glance._

_**End Flashback.**_

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I couldn't take it, a mean, don't get me wrong, he couldn't help being like that, right? It was in his nature. But, never the less, it ticked me off to no return. I suppose I wasn't thinking right when I whipped out my fan, flung it open, and lashed it out in front of me, sending an over embellished amount of wind flying at Shikamaru.

Of course, it hit him, sending him flying…he was flying, that is, until he hit against a tree. For about, ehh…forty point three seconds, perhaps, I felt a twinge of worry that I had hurt him. But, of course, he short back up, glowered at me, and then twisted around the tree. I smirked, he was doing that same strategy again, at least so far, by cowering behind a tree so that my wind wouldn't effect him, and so that he could think.

"Shikamaru!" I called out, swinging my fan from side to side, sending more gusts upon him, and forcing even trees to bend at the power. A look of mischief and enjoyment played on my visage, anyone could tell I enjoyed this thrill. "Stop hiding; show me what you've learned!" I ceased to swish my large fan and folded it up, lowering it to the ground with a thud, and I leaned on it, grinning. "You know, we could always just do hand to hand combat, if you want."

There wasn't a reply, so I figure he was thinking. I kept myself alert, glancing around at my surroundings, just in case he didn't anything sneaky. I sighed, beginning to think he had slipped away and that I was going to have to follow him, but then he spoke. "Are you happy now that you're getting to spar?" He called out; I could envision him in his thinking position, with his fingertips pressed together, his head leaned forward in deep concentration.

"Eh, more or less, though a little on the less side! I didn't hurt you too much, did I? Come on, let's just do man to man…" I paused to laugh, "I mean _woman_ to man. Guess who's going to win!"

I thought, for a moment, that I could hear him chuckle, but maybe I was just hearing things. "Sorry, I don't plan on sticking around for a battle this long!"

Sighing, I began to run toward his spot, opening my fan and wielding it at my side. If he wasn't going to compromise, or something, then I'd make him. Something caught my eye; a shadow was slithering towards me at a much faster rate then I'd anticipated. Agilely, I leapt out of the way, the tree from where he was hiding was only a few feet away…

"Come on, try something new!" I called, keeping an eye on the shadow that was still trailing after me. Suddenly, it was lifted up, and branched into a multitude of other shadows, flying at me. I held in a gasp and evaded them, but only by a little. That was a little too close for comfort.

Abruptly, there was a kunai at my throat. Cursing under my breath, I swiveled my head around slowly to look at Shikamaru, he was smirking. I closed my eyes and huffed out a sigh, "Of course, I should have realized that the shadows were a distraction, I was forgetting to look out for you."

"Now, we're done." He stated, though never lowered the kunai. He had the right to be suspicious, because, in all reality, I _was_ planning something. "Not quite, Lazybones." I grinned and then kicked him the side, though making sure not to use full force. Then I kicked the ground, causing dust to rise up, flicked my fan, sending a strong zephyr mixed with dirt at him, though, once again, only using a little vigor, not enough to send him flying.

As the dust got into his eyes, mouth and nose, he coughed and sputtered, "Jeez, Temari, I would call that cheating." I cast him a lopsided grin, "Everything's fair in love and war."

"Yeah, well, this doesn't have anything to," he stopped to sneeze, "with love. Or war, really." I merely shrugged, "Yeah, well, we're half-way there. While this has nothing to do with emotional attractions or such trifle things, this would be considered under the topic of war. If we're not friends, we're enemies, no?"

Shikamaru said nothing; too busy trying to get the dust particles out of his eyes. Folding my fan back up, I leaned on it once again and watched him, a smug look on my face. "I suppose _now_ the battle is done."

"You're quite right, the battle _is_ done." A new, strange masculine voice came from the right. Acting on instinct, I opened my fan back up and shifted my weight so my back was to Shikamaru, and so I faced myself towards the stranger, almost in a protective pose, one might say. I faltered a bit when I realized it was an ANBU.

"Why are you he-" But he cut me off before I could finish.

"The Hokage-sama has requested you be brought to her office. You two have been disrupting the peace in the village." The ANBU stated. I blinked, about to say more, when suddenly everything went black.

In but a few seconds we, Shikamaru, I, and the ANBU member were in an office. The office, I presumed, was the Hokage's…seeing as how I say her immediately, sitting at her desk, fingers interlaced with her head resting upon them. She stared at us intently, an amused look on her face.

"You two were raising quite havoc over there. What was the problem, having a lovers' quarrel?" She inquired, with a smug smile on her face. Once again, I acted before I thought clearly, "No, of course not…" I caught myself just barely in time, feeling the ANBU stiffen beside me at my sharp tone, and out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw Shikamaru grimace, "…Hokage-sama. Just a little spar" I added reluctantly.

Tsunade simply shrugged, her face turning to a serious expression. "That didn't sound like a simple _spar_. And even if it had been, you should have taken that to the training grounds." Beside me, Shikamaru muttered something inaudible before speaking up, "Actually, I hadn't even been planning on that. Temari just…acted suddenly." He said, glancing at me.

I held back a retort about him deserving it and kept my attention on the Hokage. She was looking at us carefully, analyzing us, in a sense. "Am I to think that she, being of a different village, attacked one of my own citizens?" At this, Shikamaru shook his head immediately, a look of slight worry in his eyes, "No, not like that at all. Temari was just…" he trailed off, trying to think of the right word to explain it.

"I was just…what?" I pried, curious as to what he was going to say. Shikamaru shrugged, "You were just being troublesome." He said.

Alright, was that _all_ he knew how to say? Or was he, like, obsessed with that word? Who knew, all _I_ knew was that I was ticked off all over again. "You were being just as _troublesome_, Lazybones, if not worse." I narrowed my eyes at him, clenching my jaw.

Just as I was sure we were going to start off yet another argument, though mainly one-sided as I would have been the one doing most of the talking, Tsunade's gentle laugh brought us back to the realization of where we were again. The Hokage's gaze now rested on the ANBU as she spoke, "I believe I know the cure to this little…crisis." She said, smiling, her eyes closing as she did.

The masked ANBU member nodded once, "And what would that be?" he inquired. She suddenly looked flustered, "What do you mean, 'and what would that be'?" she said, well, more like growled, "I'm talking about the special jutsu you've learned." There was silence for a few minutes, and I looked from Tsunade to and ANBU, and back again, arching an eyebrow. "Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to enjoy the outcome?" I muttered.

Tsunade merely played a cynical smirk on her face, casting me a glance, before returning her attention back to the ANBU. "Now, I realize there are possibilities this might not go through well, they could exchange into two totally different bodies, but, by what you've told me, you're becoming quite skilled at it."

Shikamaru inclined his head to the side a bit, clearly confused, "Exchange?" he echoed. The Hokage stood and walked over, arms crossed over her chest, she nodded with a confident grin, "Yes, exchange, Shikamaru. Now," she said, looking at the ANBU member, "Arrange an apartment for them after the process, because I'm sure they'll feel a need to…watch over one another once this is through."

The ANBU nodded, "Of course." He agreed. I blinked, a new feeling of outrage and frustration swelling within me. "Arrange and apartment for _them_? You mean I'm going to have to live with…_that_?" I asked, pointing an accusing finger at Shikamaru, never tearing my gaze from Tsunade. Hokage or not, I deserved to be able to state my opinion. Beside me, Shikamaru grumbled, "You sound like you're the only one who's going to be uncomfortable here. You're not the greatest to live with either; I'd choose to have to live with Naruto over you any day."

I ignored him, glowering at Tsunade still. She met my venomous glare with an amused smirk, and then nodded. That must have been a sign or something for that blasted ANBU, because before I knew it there was nothing. There was absolutely nothing at all, simply a black abyss engulfing me before I succumbed to unconsciousness.

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My head hurt. That was all I knew when I regained perception again. It was pounding away, like it had a hammer or something. It felt like it was threatening to explode from my cranium. Mechanically, I brought my hands up and gripped my head; the pain was driving me crazy.

"What the heck happened…?" I mumbled, feeling indolent and dizzy. But, as soon as I spoke, my eyes widened and a chill went down my spine. That wasn't my voice. I mean…it _was_, in a sense. I had just spoken, right then. Those were the words _I_ had wanted to say…and I had said them, right? But there was no mistaking that _that_ voice was not my own.

"Ugh…" I heard a moan a few feet away. Remaining still, too afraid and shocked, praying something like this couldn't happen, my eyes sought out the person from which the voice had come from. I searched so fervently because of one, horrifying reason. That had been _my_ voice that had emitted that moan, and I hadn't done it…right?

In a jerky, unstable movement, I propped myself up, placing my hands down to lean on them, I realized I was on a bed. I looked around wildly, and then my eyes rested upon a door, opened to an adjoining bedroom. I clenched my teeth, figuring that this was the apartment the Hokage had spoken of.

"What the-!?" An outraged, and unfinished sentence brought my attention back to the matter at hand. There it came again, the sound of _my_ voice coming when_ I_ wasn't even speaking. I swung my legs over to edge of the bed and froze, leaving the dangling there in midair. Those weren't my legs. Mine were a bit more evenly tanned, a tad longer, even….and they were _definitely_ shaved, unlike these pair. My breath went ragged as I leapt out of bed and raced over to the door leading to the next room.

I stopped to lean against the frame for support as I gazed in, my eyes widening all the more, as I saw a female adolescent sitting there, inspecting her hands, her arms, and, well, her in general. That girl was_ me_. What kind of sick joke was this, anyways?!

I raised a shaky hand, going to point at, er…me, at least I thought it was, and then realized that the hand wasn't mine either. Suddenly, the 'me' stood up, staring at me as if I was some fort of horrifying monster, and I returned the look, equally frightened.

"Do…you know what's…. going on…?" I asked, taking quivering breathes here and there. 'Me' was silent for a moment, thinking, "I think I have an idea." I was a bit surprised that she…err….me, I was so confused, sounded slightly calm. It hit me, then, what had happened, and whose body I now resided within.

That was it, I was _livid_. It was safe to say all those other times I said I was upset and angry were understatements compared to this. "I want my body back." I glowered at 'me' and held out my hand, expectant. I knew this wasn't going to help, but I had to try any way I could, I was blinded for a few moments by that.

There was no response from 'me', my glare hardened, "Shikamaru… Give. Me. Back. My. Body…" I stated more slowly, malice dripping from each word. He sighed, "Troublesome. We can't get it back just like _that_." he snapped his fingers to help show what he meant.

I could feel it, then, my thorough walls of protection, all that kept me 'safe', in some words, was crashing down within me. My eyes burned, my head pounded, and I slid down to the floor, my back against the framework. "Give me back…my body…I don't want to stay like this…" I mumbled beneath my breath, a blank look in my eyes.

I couldn't believe it, I didn't _want_ to. This was worse than any nightmare I'd experienced before, and I kept waiting for it to all fade away and for me to _really_ wake up. But, then again, in some, far corner of my mind that I really was awake, and that nothing was going to take me from this.

"We'll just have to talk with Lady Tsunade the next time we get the chance." Shikamaru said, exasperated, "Just…calm down, troublesome woman." He sat down next to me and, as I glanced over, I couldn't help but let out a soft laugh.

He quirked an eyebrow, "What's so funny?" he asked, and I broke into fits of laughter. Shikamaru looked as if he was worried about my mental health, and I suppose he had good reasons to.

"It's nothing," I managed out between chuckles, "It's just that it's kind of funny, watching me, listening to you, but when it sounds like me. I just seem so…weird!"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes, but smirked, "Yeah, well, it's pretty strange for me too. You don't know how odd it is to watch you move around in, well, my body. You do it really oddly, too feminine and girly." At this, I raised a hand and whapped him in the head and glared at him, either he was trying to be funny or just stating I fact, I didn't care.

Sighing, I brought my knees up and wrapped my arms around them, resting my cheek on one of them to look at him, narrowing my eyes as I did so. It just felt so…weird, to be in a different body and to be looking at myself. I felt so out of synch. Unexpectedly, Shikamaru shifted a bit and rose to his feet, rubbing the back of his neck. "We'll see when we can get a meeting set up with the Hokage-sama, I'm sure she'll try and keep us out as long as she can, though." He stated, letting his arms hang loosely at his sides.

This was definitely not my idea of a vacation, so much more me thinking Konohagakure wasn't exciting. The things I was experience right then and there were opening my eyes as to how truly stimulating and vivacious place this could be. Closing my eyes I sighed, the word 'troublesome' drifting to my ears just moments before my headache returned.


	2. Trying One’s Hand in Acting

The steady, rhythmic sound of her breath told me she was asleep. It was sort of amazing to think she could sleep like…well, _that_. Needless to say, it caught me off guard every time I happened to glance over and saw my sleeping form, knees brought up and arms curled around them, mouth partially open, head leaned back gently against the frame of the door.

But each time that happened I would have to remind myself that, no, I wasn't dead and just watching after my body, I had just been…exchanged. And each time I had to say that it was Temari I was looking at trapped in my body, as I was trapped in hers.

Letting out a sigh, I lowered myself into a comfortable position on the bed, the sheets rustled beneath my back as I shifted a bit, my now dark teal gaze locked onto the ceiling above.

An annoyed look came to my face. I hadn't asked for something this troublesome. _She_ was to blame, if anything, if she hadn't been so…well, troublesome about sparing, and if she had just left me alone, we might have went our own ways, and the Godaime would not have gotten involved.

Suddenly, I heard a thud and then a yelp. I rolled my eyes, whatever Temari had just done had made her yelp in a girlish way. Lazily, I pulled myself up a bit and stretched my neck so I could get a better view at what she was doing.

Temari sat in a sprawled position on the floor, grimacing and holding 'her', or should I say my hand, at least it used to be. I noticed that the wall beside her had a few small cracks in it that hadn't been there before and groaned. "Idiot…" I muttered, flopping back down and closing my eyes, "What did you do that for?"

"What? I had to make sure I was awake, because I sure as heck wasn't going to ask you to pinch me." She responded, an angry, defensive edge in her voice. I was frigid, for a moment, not quite use to the fact of hearing someone else use my voice. "Well don't, troublesome woman, you'll end up tearing the whole apartment down."

I felt the bed beside me sink down a little bit with sudden weight, and turned my head to the side a bit to see what she was doing. "I don't feel like a 'troublesome woman'." She commented, a shiver ran down her spine as she glanced down at me…or…'her', I guess.

I didn't really have a clue how to answer that comment, so I remained silent, staring up at the ceiling. "Don't do that, you'll give me frown lines." Temari reprimanded, sounded teacher-like. That just freaked me out, hearing her use _my_ voice in such a…un-me way. "Well don't talk like that. You don't sound a thing like me." I retorted.

"You're not doing such great job yourself, Lazybones." She said, letting out a frustrated sigh, "And I said not to do that, you're going to give me frown lines with an expression like that." Suddenly something flopped over my face, and I realized she had tossed a large pillow and a blanket over me.

Pushing them off, I furrowed my brow and chucked them back to the top of the bed, never bothering to get up from my contented laying position. "I wasn't frowning before, idiot." I stated, bringing my hands behind my head.

"Yeah, yeah…" she muttered, obviously not pleased. There was silence for a few minutes, silence which I welcomed easily, but it was soon shattered when I noticed her rise from the bed, a cringe on 'my' face, causing her to wrinkle my former body's nose.

"Problem." She muttered, "Big, _big_ problem." I quirked an eyebrow, befuddled as to what she thought was a bigger problem than the one we were already in. "Temari…?" I asked, voice trailing off in a curious manner. She looked to me, horror flashing in her now dark sienna orbs.

"How the heck am I supposed to do _certain_ things?" Temari asked, sounding frantic, much different from the girl she portrayed most of the time. I didn't get her implications and kept an annoyed and bombarded look on my visage.

She rolled her eyes, throwing her hands up in the air (which, might I add, was weird for me, as I never would have done such a thing). "Umm…well, let's see, Shikamaru," she said with a venomous edge in her voice, causing me to wince a bit, "I guess we'll start at the bathroom. How the _heck_ are we supposed to take showers and all of that of other stuff?" She didn't wait for my response, pressing onward, "And changing, I'm definitely going to have a problem with that!"

I remained soundless, a bit struck by her words. And, in addition, I felt like an idiot for not have realizing those problems beforehand. Soon enough our personal necessities would set in, it was inevitable.

"And how are we supposed to go throughout the day?! I don't just want to stay here like some bum, you might feel comfortable with it because that's what you are, but I can't live like that!" Temari ranted on, and I couldn't help but feel a twinge of anger that she had slightly insulted me.

Suddenly, my body seeming to have a mind of its own, I rose to my feet and brought my hands up to grip her, or 'my' shoulders. "Calm down, rambling on like some fool isn't going to help our situation." I spoke calmly, mentally beating down each flicker of worry and frenzy that attempted to sneak out.

At first, Temari tensed beneath my grip, either out of natural response or because she felt it to be rather abnormal and freaky to be touched by 'herself', she eventually relaxed, bringing up her own hands and swatting mine away from her shoulders.

A resolute look came to her face, something which looked strange and foreign on mine. "You're right, we're just going to have to endure this…bit of fun of the Hokage's." she managed out, clenching her jaw. "Alright, here's the plan, you don't look, touch, or even _think_ about each others body when changing, showering, or whatever."

I snorted, "No need to worry about that, you're not _that_ appealing." She ignored me, but not without giving my arm a swift punch, and continued, "We have to act like each other in front of the others, and we have to get _really_ good at that." She stated firmly, with a nod of her head.

"And why is that?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest, meeting something, or should I say two some-things, that were quite strange to even brush my hand across. Temari seemed to detect my air of vague wonderment and swatted my arms down away from the chest area, the blood coloring her cheeks. "Don't do that, didn't you hear the rules, Lazybones?" she asked, she color leaving her cheeks near immediately.

Inwardly I sighed; never would I want this troublesome woman's full wrath unleashed upon me. I simply rolled my eyes as a response, suspending my arms in the air and moving my feet so they didn't touch, I met her gaze with mockery, "Is this good enough for you? Do you want me to hold my breath too?" I asked, taking in a deep gasp of air and holding in.

She put on a playful, appeased look, "Yes, yes, that will do just fine. Just keep doing that until…oh, I say to stop?" she suggested, placing a finger to the corner of her mouth in a thoughtful look.

Immediately following after the action, I released my breath and screwed my face up, swatting her hands down away from my former face. "Don't do that, didn't you hear the rules, troublesome woman?" I asked, repeating the words she had said to me a few minutes ago in a derisive fashion.

She chuckled, though in a dismissive way. "Alright, time to make some progress." She said, rubbing her hands together. For some reason I didn't appreciate the feeling that swelled in the pit of my stomach, caused by that statement and her anxious face. "…Progress?" I asked slowly, reluctant to know my premature doom.

"Yes, _progress_." Temari stated, saying the word again slowly, implying many a rude and contemptuous thing. "We need to start practicing acting like each other." I stared at her blankly, she huffed out a sigh and pressed onward, "This is important because when we leave this apartment we need to seem like nothings happened," she paused, a thoughtful look on her face, "And just in case someone's watching we should leave at separate times, and perhaps through different exits."

"That's too troublesome, why would we waste our time by doing such a foolish thing as leaving at different times? Who the heck cares if someone is watching, just as long as they don't know what's happened." I pointed out, and Temari cringed, giving me a look that made me feel like out was nothing but simple dimwitted five year-old out of the social loop.

"We don't want people to start _implying_ and _assuming_ things." She said with a vague sneer at the two words, cringe only amplifying. My quirked eyebrow gave her the message I was bombarded as to what she was getting at.

She held up her hands, all but the pointer-fingers clenched down with the rest of the hand. "When you have a guy," she paused to shake the left first finger, "and a girl," she paused once again to shake her right first finger, "coming out of the same room, the same building, together, at the same _time_, that implies that they are together, and, perhaps, spent the night _together_." Temari finished, slowly closing the gap between the two until they were side by side.

"Yeah?" My reply was stoic, "If people even assumed that they would have to be nothing but fools. Who in their right minds would even put us together? Shikamaru and _Temari_…? Our names don't even sound right together." For a second, I thought I saw Temari flinch, but then again, my judgment was screwed up as her fist came in contact with the top of my head.

Some women slapped you, others stomped on your foot…and then there was Temari, who went out all full force and hit you with deadly accuracy on your head. It was just my luck to be stuck with her.

The corners of her mouth twitched in agitation, a forced smile eventually tugging up. She closed her eyes and stuffed her hands in her pockets, her façade switching to a completely bored appearance. I blinked, confused as to what she was doing, but then figured she was trying to act like me.

"You have my physical appearance down…slightly." I said, "Now, try and talk like me." She opened one eye, "…Troublesome woman…" she muttered beneath her breath, closing her eye once again and letting out a slow, exasperated sigh.

I gave a shrug, "I suppose that it's fine, just as long as you keep acting like that." Temari nodded, opening her eyes and giving a smirk, "Now you try." She suggested. Yet again, I shrugged. I raised a hand and waved it vaguely, a superior and feisty look coming to my face as I spoke, "Tch. Whatever."

Her eyebrows rose, jaw setting as she did so, she took in a slow breath and folded her arms over her chest, inclining ever so slightly into a slouched position. "What, something wrong, _Lazybones_?" I asked, bringing my hands up and shaking them, calling her by the nickname she had previously given me.

Temari shrugged indolently, a blanket of lethargy seemed to have fallen over her, in some sense. "Nothing, don't worry about it." I smirked, narrowing my eyes in an aggressively determined way, "C'mon, tell me." I pressed. _'Rather a clever way to practice roles…'_ I mused to myself, waiting for her response.

She remained silent, lids covering her eyes. You could almost think she had died, the only real proof that she remained was the tiniest of rises and falls of her chest as she inhaled and exhaled, and, that she still stood.

"What? Are you just going to ignore me now, Lazybones?" I inquired, prodding her in her arm. Temari gave a simple shrug, muttering something along the lines of 'that being the plan'.

My smirk turned to a scowl, my prodding and pokes intensifying. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, so that her right shoulder, which had fallen victim to my incessant poking, was a bit out of my reach.

And abrupt knock on the door caused us to hush. We met each other's gazes in a mixture of sudden shock and worry. By my calculations, I figured this wouldn't turn out well.


	3. A Visit of Contemplation

The knock at the door caused my pulse to quick, my stomach jump with a nervous response. The thought of facing someone like this, feeling so unprepared, was less than appealing.

I clasped my hands together, wringing them in a nervous fashion. "What do we do?" I asked in a low voice, blinking as I looked to Shikamaru. He gave me a rather 'what-a-stupid-question' kind of look, "Just act natural." He replied, tone sharp and agitated.

I assumed he wasn't exactly pleased that someone had decided to pay us a little visit. "Go." He urged, jerking his head to the door in the other room. I frowned, "No, that'd be out of character. _You _have to go answer the door. Now _go_." I urged right back at him, pushing him up and in the direction of the door with my hands.

"_Character_…?" He groaned quietly, making a face at the word. He ambled over to the door an opened it in a flustered way, narrowing his eyes. "What do you want?" I heard him asked, remaining where I was and peering out; I couldn't quite make out who it was.

"Oi! I heard that Shikamaru was staying here now, and that he got stuck rooming with some girl 'cause there was a shortage on rooms!" I heard him pause, and then continued, his voice all mushy and suck-up-ish, "Oh, are you that girl? Well, I guess he could have done worse." I frowned at his insult to my looks, but let it slide, and blinked in puzzlement, not quite recognizing the loud, obnoxious, over-bearing, idiotic-

"What do you want, Naruto?" Shikamaru asked, in a near perfect mimic of my voice. Oh, yeah. That was the kid's name, Naruto. I stood at the doorframe in a lounging position, half-hidden, and looked at the door once again to see that a certain vaguely-familiar blonde had seemingly forced himself at the room.

Shikamaru had an annoyed look on 'my' (well, his now, I guess) face. Naruto looked as if he was about to say something more, mouth stretched into a grin so wide I thought it would stick like that, when he paused in mid-beginning with a confounded look on his face.

"Hey, how do you know my name? I mean, I kinda remember you from the exams; you beat up that girl, TenTen, right? Anyways, yeah, how did you know it?" He asked, peering curiously at Shikamaru.

I caught my breath, well, the dunce was pretty sharp-

"You yell your name out all the time; it's hard _not _to know it." Shikamaru replied tartly with a sniff. The blonde blinked, and then smirked, bringing his hands up to clasp behind his head, "Yeah, I guess I do."

-…okay, so he wasn't really 'sharp'. More like…a blunt kunai, perhaps?

Abruptly, I felt a pair of eyes on me, and realized the hyper-active ninja was now looking intently at me, his façade like when some parent was looking at his baby. All happy, mushy, and gushy-like.

I quirked an eyebrow, waiting for him to say something, as remained in a slouched position against the frame of the door. "Well, Shikamaru," he began, voice full of unspoken implications and a tone to match his face, "I see you look quite comfortable here with this girl. Was I interrupting something?"

I just let out a nonchalant sigh and closed my eyes, "Idiot…" I muttered beneath my breath. Naruto furrowed his brow and stuck out his tongue, "Yeah, yeah, no need to call me an idiot, Shikamaru." He retorted, his cross look never leaving his face. I simply lifted a hand as a little dismissive wave as a response.

"What do you want, anyway?" I asked, with tone bored enough to make it sound like I really didn't care even though I had asked. The blonde paused, past little quarrel already forgotten, and his cerulean eyes sparkled.

"Well," he began, "We're all going out tonight, maybe see a movie, or hang out at the beach." I quirked a brow, barely showing interest, "By 'we' you mean…?" I trailed off inquisitively.

He gave me a look like I might be the stupidest creature living on Earth, well, not compared to him, at least in my opinion. "Neji, Sasuke, Kiba, Shino, Chouji, Lee, Sakura, Ino, TenTen, Hinata, and I guess that other girl over there can come to." He stated, all in once breath, and jerked his thumb over at 'me', or Shikamaru I should say, with a silly grin on his face.

I nodded hesitantly, sparing a brief glance at Shikamaru, but he seemed at ease, so I supposed it wouldn't be that bad of an experience. Naruto beamed, "Okay, then, well, meet us up at the park, and we'll either walk to the beach or head back into town to watch a movie, if nothing else, we'll get something to eat! Hopefully ramen!" he said, rubbing his belly, before turning and walking out, laughing his boyish laugh loudly.

Shikamaru quickly closed the door, and a frown of displeasure quickly ensued. "What were you thinking?" he groaned, "You could have just said 'no', but now we have to go when them." He rolled his eyes, and I felt myself getting more agitated by the second.

"Hey, you could have dropped a hint that you didn't want to go, you know." I snapped, narrowing my gaze accusingly. "Yeah, but he was talking to _you_, not me, well…he was talking to me, but…" Shikamaru trailed off, clearly frustrated.

"I noticed that, and besides, why didn't you introduce me? You could have said what my name was, but instead you were just all silent like a mute! I don't want to just be known as 'that other girl'." I stressed, radiating my ever-growing agitation. He simply shrugged, "Yeah, but it sounds better than your actual name."

I growled a little at the insult, but then left his room and entered another passageway, leading me into a kitchen. It was kind of nice, I guess, and when I opened the fridge, there was already food in there. At least I had _that_ bit to be thankful of the Hokage for.

The sound of footsteps alerted me that Shikamaru had followed me into the room, I huffed out a loud sigh and, closing the fridge door, I swiveled around to face him. "You know, if I had wanted to be in the same room as you, I would have just stayed where I was, or I would have said 'Oh, Shikamaru, why don't you accompany me to the kitchen? I think that would be wonderful!', but, I didn't. So what do you want?"

He simply shrugged, leading to only infuriate me more, and answered, "There's nothing else to do." I felt my right eye twitch as I used all my will-power to compose myself. "Then…do something…productive…" I said slowly, bringing the tips of my fingers up to the middle of my forehead and pressing them in.

"Too troublesome." He muttered, deadpanning me. I grumbled beneath my breath. '_Only day one, and I'm already having a troublesome time with him.'_ Immediately after thinking that, I mentally slapped myself. Great. Now I was using his 'infamous' word. Just perfect. 

"Then why don't you just keel over and die?" I suggested, oh so helpfully. He sniffed, not sad, just as if he had been insulted. Which…he had been, I guess. "I repeat, again, 'too troublesome'. Besides," Shikamaru continued, "If I die, the chances are high that you wouldn't be able to get your body back."

I closed my eyes, my hands now messaging my temples in a manner to control my easily triggered temper.

Heck. I knew I had a bad temper, I could at least admit that, so in some ways I wasn't too bad. But when it came to suppressing it, I was rather, eh, how should I put it… Inexperienced, maybe?

"Alright, then, Lazybones. This isn't going anywhere, and no one's getting enjoyment out of this, at least not me, so how about we get ready for that party, or whatever it is with those country hick friends of yours, because," I said, pausing to opened my eyes and look 'me' (well, previously me) over, "I am _not _going to allow you to take my body there like _that_."

It was true. 'My' body looked like a complete disaster, like I was some tornado survivor or something. I might have not liked those silly friends of his, but I still had something to uphold, and I wasn't going to let the simple matter of Shikamaru now residing in my body slander the stander I held for my appearances.

One of the few things I wouldn't have him do was take a shower, get dressed down into anything less than my intimate clothes (and maybe not even that far), and various others. He shrugged, seemingly letting out a vaguely annoyed sigh, and remained standing there.

For a minute or so, there was silence, while I was contemplating on what to do (I have no idea as to what thoughts were processing through the King of Laziness). Suddenly, a voice dragged me out of my thoughts and I blinked, to realize that it was Shikamaru who now spoke.

"Don't…worry about it, Temari. It'll be fine." His voice sounded odd, like he wasn't used to the idea of trying to comfort someone, which, no doubt, I'm sure he wasn't. I managed a small, pathetic attempt at a smile as a slightly response.

"Err…" I began, fumbling with words, not really having been prepared for such words from him, "…Thank you, Lazy?" Shikamaru allowed a trace of a smile to adorn his lips, and chuckled quietly. "Come on, troublesome woman, time to get ready."


	4. Reunions of Disorientation

Oh, yes, this was fun. This was what my life had been building up to, the axis upon which my life turned and depended upon. I was so over-filled with joy and rapture that I thought that if I should keel over and meet my demise, I would die a happy man.

Ahem. Note the sarcasm. And, dare I repeat, _heavy_ sarcasm.

It was quite the tribulation to get ready, and after working on that little problem of ours for two long hours, we were (finally) ready to go. I swear that woman is just too picky, anyways…

Just a few minutes earlier, Temari had oh so sneakily, and yet casually (how she managed that I don't have the slightest inkling) left the building.

_**Flashback:**_

_I looked at Temari with a raised eyebrow, disbelief plastered a crossed my face. "So you want me to just wait here for ten minutes after you leave, have you wait for me, and __**then**__ I leave and catch up to you? It's too troublesome, woman."_

_She let out an exasperated sigh. "Don't you remember that whole little discussion we had before?" she inquired, holding up her to pointer fingers again. _

"_Yes." I said shortly, running my tongue over my lips, "Who on this green earth could forget such a foolish lecture, lacking any common sense whatsoever?"_

_Temari, in turn, closed her eyes, took in a deep breath of air, held it, and then released it. You know, I think she was counting to ten, trying to control that terrorizing temper of hers._

"_Well, good, at least that pineapple head of yours is good for something. Now, if you follow that plan, then we'll make it to the little party, or whatever your sad little friends are planning." She stated, a bit calmer._

_I yawned, and then put on a thoughtful look, "If you're me, and really only I, or you, was invited, then why am I required to attend?" I asked._

_This earned me a swift smack to the side of my head and an exasperated sigh, "You're coming because I'm not facing these…people by myself. So I want you with me tonight." I allowed myself a moment to quirk my eyebrow at her, my façade reflecting my question at how she had phrased the last sentence._

_However, she didn't take any notice. "I'll wait for you by that one big tree by that one place where they serve those greasy noodles you call food." Temari said. _

_I sighed, "You mean the oak tree beside the ramen shop?" I asked._

"_Yeah, yeah, that place." She retorted dismissively, patting my arm like a mother might towards a frightened child._

_I was about to say something else, but didn't manage to get it out, as the troublesome woman left the room._

_**End Flashback.**_

I let out a passive sigh and brought my wrist up to my line of vision, teal eyes peering down at my imaginary watch. "Yeah, seems about the right time." I said, with a vague trace of sarcasm and resentment in my voice.

Crossing over to the other side of the room, I opened the door and stepped out, heading out to greet my impending doom.

Time passed quickly, at warp speed it seemed, unfortunately for me, as I made my way down the stairs, through the little lobby where the information desk resided, and a woman with the nametag 'Hello, my name is Saki' pinned to her formal white blouse sat, smiling pleasantly at me while bidding my a good afternoon. Which, I did not return, finding nothing 'good' about this afternoon in particular.

Pushing my way through the doors, I grimaced. My legs felt like they were being rubbed against with sandpaper, to be specific, the sections of my legs with the chain mail material were the ones being irritated.

How could that woman live with this material wrapped around her legs? It was the most uncomfortable thing I had ever felt. I bent down a bit to scratch my right leg, though froze in mid-reach when I felt a pair of eyes on me.

Swiveling my head around, my eyes fell upon a man, gazing at me intently with a smirk on his face, marks of purple paint adorned his face, and his dark eyes mirrored a cocky attitude. In general, he freaked me out, and for some reason, being in Temari's body made me all the more for self-preservation.

He smirked and raised a hand, "Hey." He said, but I didn't bother to return the greeting. Swiftly, almost haughtily, I turned and merged into bustling crowds of Konoha, fighting the urge to glance back and ensure that he was not still following me.

It was so…troublesome, I guess, the way things played out for me. I always got stuck with the losing deck. I let my feet carry me along, subconsciously, while I mulled over the strange guy who had been staring at me, or should I say, 'Temari'.

Eventually, I arrived at my destination, to see Temari waiting impatiently, leaning against the tree, arms tucked in her pockets, and her eyes half-closed in a sincerely bored manner. I quickened my pace, only because I was worried about that one guy finding me, not because I was hurrying to get to _her_.

She noticed me, and she seemed to relax, though I hadn't even realized she had been tensed up before that. "Shikamaru, what took you so long?" She asked irritably, tone low enough to be considered a whisper.

I bit back a remark on how if we had just left together, then she wouldn't have had to wait. But, instead, I decided to bring up the subject of the strange and, well, perverted looking man.

"By the way, when I was leaving the apartment, there was a guy watching me." I avowed. Temari raised her eyebrows in sheer shock, clearly startled at the news.

"Was he cute?" she asked, catching me off-guard. "I guess so, yeah-" I didn't finish my foolish sentence as I felt myself slipping into a vat of swirling, Temari-styled anger. She was so….so…woman-ish, to be asking the way this guy looked. And since when was she interested in guys? She never mentioned them before, true, we were never switched and stuck in each others bodies before, but my point was valid… Right?

"How can you be asking something so idiotic and troublesome?" I asked, a trace of irritation being hinted in my voice. She sniffed, shifting her (or should I saw 'my') coffee gaze down to her feet, "It's just a question." She grumbled.

"What did he look like?" Temari asked, pressing he matter. I sighed in an 'alright-whatever-you-win-this-time' way. "I don't know, I guess he was wearing mostly black, had a weird thing on his back, and purple paint on his face."

At the remark of the purple paint, she seemed to have something to say, but, fate and irony deciding to play a game with me that day, as I brought my eyes up to randomly scan the crowds, I was met with the sight of the man who had been watching me.

As Temari opened her mouth to say something, I cut her off, "That's him." I muttered, jerking my head in the guy's general direction.

Recognition flickered in her eyes, followed by both amusement and frustration. She let out a long, and drawled out sigh, chuckling a bit. I narrowed my gaze at her with suspicion, was I the only sane one out of the both of us?

She tilted her head back lazily to look at me, taking in a yawn, and then smirked, "It's just Kankuro, Lazybones."

"_Kankuro_?" I asked, repeating his name with clear distaste. Temari rolled her eyes, smirk disappearing, "Yes, Kankuro, I assumed it was him after the description. So did he say anything?"

I clenched my jaw, trying to remain passive, even though my mind was screaming at me to shake some sense into this girl that it wasn't a good thing to have some guy looking at her, even if she _did_ know him.

"Yeah, he said 'Hey', but still, he was practically staring me down, as if expecting something." I said. Temari huffed out an exasperated sigh (which, might I add, sounded _extremely_ weird coming from my body with my voice), "Well, yeah he was looking at you like that, he was expecting you, or rather me, to give him a friendly little 'Hello' too, and go over and act all surprised that he was there. He's probably confused now, because that's just what my brother expects."

'_Oh, yeah, right, we're going to worry about how that freaky, stalking, odd, and weird brother fee-' _I blinked, feeling like a fool. Brother. '_Oh, well then, I suppose I over-reacted a little. Wait, I should be saying this out loud.'_

"Well, I guess I over-reacted." I grumbled, scratching the back of my head. Temari simply rolled her shoulders, "Well he's coming over here now, so act like me. And…why were you so worried, anyways?" she deadpanned.

Luckily, though, I didn't have time to answer the question, as Kankuro came strolling over, a grin on his face and a perplexed look in his eyes.

"Hey, Temari! I finally caught you again, where were you going in such a rush? Didn't you see me?" He asked, pouring out his questions. I blinked, at a loss of what to say, momentarily tongue-tied.

"I guess I didn't, sorry, eh, Kankuro. Guess I was in a bit of a rush." I finally blurted, pretty much lying with the whole 'I didn't see you' part. I could tell he didn't fall for it, but he didn't press the matter.

He came to my side, and slung an arm around my shoulders, "So, why were you in such a rush?" I was in the middle of wondering whether or not I should ask if he was blind, what with not seeing Temari, or 'me' leaned against the tree beside us, when Kankuro looked up with feigned surprise, pretty much seeing 'Shikamaru' for he first time.

"Sooo…." He drawled, giving me a devious smirk "Is _this_ scrawny boy the reason you were so hurried as to not return my greeting? Hey, wait, I think I recognize him. Isn't he the one you fought in some exam-thing? What's your name, kid?" Kankuro quizzed, leaning heavily upon me (which I did _not _appreciate) as he peered curiously at Temari.

"…Shikamaru." She said finally, sounding resentful and indignant that she had to speak to Kankuro. Obviously, Temari's elder brother picked up on the tone, because he narrowed his eyes, tightening his arm's hold around me in a protective manner.

"Yeah, well, you sure know how to pick 'em, Temari." He said, ending his words with a sad shake of the head and a mumbled '_tsk_'.

Temari let out a snort, "What, you think I'd be with this troublesome woman? No. It's just that I was planning on meeting some friends, and she," she paused to tilt her head towards me in a lame fashion, "wanted to tag along."

I could tell that her brother was having a hard time controlling his temper (a thing which I figure must run in the family), and that Temari was enjoying herself extremely. "So, what are you doing here anyways?" I ventured, feeling like a fool as they argued betwixt themselves.

He offered me something like a Naruto smile, except for much more cocky…and with an added spin of purple adornment. "What? You're not glad to see me?" He asked, sniggering. I rolled my eyes, that being a response in and of itself.

"Well, Gaara wanted to make sure to sure you were fine, what with the missing-nin running amuck, starting some pathetic little uprising." he began, and I glanced over to Temari, vaguely amused to see the was trying to stifle a surprised look. Clearly, she hadn't been expecting Gaara to be worried about her, "And, because he's the Kazakage, he couldn't exactly leaving, what with the elders not trusting him as it is, he wanted me to come. Plus, I wanted to take a vacation from plain old Suna."

I nodded, and his grin broadened all the more. "Well, as a brother you've been neglecting to visit lately, which should be a crime you know, I'm entitled the rights to spend a day with you. And, seeing as how you're not doing anything, you might as well spend some time with me."

With this statement, both Temari and I narrowed our eyes. Even though it was me Kankuro was talking to, it was still towards Temari in general, and I knew that she didn't appreciate being told what to do, whether or not it was still her body. He was still talking to her, and she still didn't like it.

"No." We both chimed, and edge in our voices, a bit more in mine as I tried to play the part of 'Temari'. "Jeez," he said, bringing his arm down from around me, "I didn't know I'd get declined by two people, when I was only talking to one. I suppose, though, you've always been like this. Tomorrow, though, is when we'll hang out, go out on the town and do something like the siblings we are. I'll come to your apartment at one o'clock, 'kay?" He said, though the tone with which he said it said that this wasn't open to discussion.

I nodded, face reflecting unhappiness, "Whatever." He smirked, "Right, then, bye!" he said, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek before I could move, and then jogging off.

This action caused the hairs on my arm and the back of my neck to rise; it was safe to say I was thoroughly disgusted. Before I could say anything, I heard a laugh, well, no, more than a giggle. To make matters worse, it was a giggle coming from a guy, well, girl really, but you get my point.

I turned to glare at Temari, using the back of my hand to vainly rub against the spot where I had been 'violated', as if I could wipe away both it and the memory. "We never speak of this, troublesome woman."

She smirked, "Really? You sure we wouldn't want to tell anyone that you got kissed by my brother? I think it's cute, in a gay sort of way. I wonder how he'll react to the news once I tell him after this whole mess is all sorted out." She commented thoughtfully.

My let eye twitched in agitation, "_Never speak of this to anyone._" I grumbled, with unnatural venom and threat in my voice.

She simply shrugged it off, clearly not caring a bit, "Come on, Lazybones, time to get to the party, and while we're heading there we'll have to figure out a way to keep my brother off of you. " She said with a teasing wink, already beginning to walk away.


	5. The Promise and a Problem

My left eye was beginning to twitch. I couldn't help it, because, I mean, how on earth could it get anymore _strange_?

I had this odd and over-bearing teal-eyed blonde sidled up at my right, and a fat dark orange-haired guy (who was constantly eating these gross and greasy potato chips, yuck) to my left. We were currently at a large table, having just seen a movie (which was _very_ weird, I dare say, and I'm not even that picky when it comes to movies…as long as it isn't a chick flick), we were eating dinner.

Shikamaru was sitting across from me, with Naruto, Hinata, TenTen and Lee to the left of him, and Sakura, Neji, Kiba, and Shino (I _think_ that's all of their names) to the right of him. Of course, the lucky crybaby had it easy, what with being in _my_ body, no body was trying to talk with him, meanwhile it seemed like they were all trying to talk to me (hint my disdain).

I think that twitch was going to be a permanent side affect.

What? Had they never spoken to me (or, rather, _him_) before? I'm sure it hadn't been _that_ terribly long ago since they (well, mainly that Ino) had gossiped about the latest couples, the upcoming holidays, and the like. All of which I really didn't care to hear.

Discreetly (well, I didn't really care if anyone saw it), I sent Shikamaru a desperately bored look, mentally begging for him to give me the 'okay' signal for us to go. But he was wearing a smirk and an _annoying_ smirk at that. Oh, wait, that was probably a smirk I would wear so…jeez, I could be pretty darn provoking (I felt almost proud of that fact).

It was then that he rubbed his (well rather, '_my_') eyes, which, unfortunately were coated in mascara (I had had to force him to do it, telling him I wouldn't go all haywire on some girl if he did). The black substance was smudged beneath his left eye, and I felt myself falling into a lightning-filled abyss, thunder cracking portentously.

Something _had_ to be done for the sake of my image! With that, I was resolved and ferociously determined to help him (or, my body I suppose).

I let out a rough cough, "I'm going now." I avowed, looking pointedly (and yet quite subtly) at Shikamaru, 'telepathically' (oh, what a lovely ability that would be) willing him to just go with it.

But, of course, he seemed perfectly at ease. Ino frowned disdainfully as looked up at me, "Aw, Shikamaru!" She cooed, drawling out 'my' name a bit, "Do you have to go? I thought we were having so much fun."

"I promised Temari I'd show here around Konoha." I said bluntly, leaving no room for any more conversation. This caused the annoying, girly blonde to glare at 'Temari'. But soon, her glare turned into a barely suppressed smirk, she'd seen the smudged mascara.

I felt my temper boil and swell up like a balloon (really, though, even my brothers said my temper wasn't healthy), did she think it was _funny_ that a calamity happened to a poor, unsuspecting, and innocent Suna traveler? My opinion was now set of her; she was shallow and impious.

Shikamaru, too, rose, though seemingly reluctant. With the utmost tactful urgings from me, we (more like _I_) hurried out of the small restaurant. Immediately coming out, I ordered him to go into the nearest bathroom and fix his makeup.

He, of course, agreed only under my persistence, and I trailed after him to the public restrooms. The lazy bum was about to go into the men's room when I stopped (okay, more like tackled) him, pulling him away with nervous glances full of contempt (people were beginning to stare, you see).

"What are you doing, woman?" He muttered quietly beneath his breath, clearly agitated, "Didn't you want me to go fix the stupid makeup which, by the way, I never even wanted to put on in the first place.

I bit back a few angry remarks, deciding it would be best to (try to) calm myself. "You were about to go into the _men's_ room, you crybaby. You're in my _woman_ body, so you have to go to the _woman's_ bathroom."

"I wouldn't call this a 'woman's' body." Shikamaru commented dryly, which, in turn, earned him smack to the arm. I felt a forced polite smile (well, it was more like a grimace) curl upon my lips.

"Yeah, and I wouldn't call you man enough to go to the men's room. Now, go into _that_ restroom," I grumbled, jerking my head back a bit toward the object of conversation, "and fix your dog gone mascara."

A look of horror flickered across his face, "No." He finally muttered, odd determination forcing itself out in his tone.

My eye twitched, "_Yes_." I urged impatiently, pushing him towards in, "Now, do you _want_ me to come in with you, and make a scene? You'll be known as a perverted ninja, you know, who has no shame." I threatened.

"If you do that, I'll just go to the men's restroom. You'll be considered perverted as well." Shikamaru retorted, and I mentally growled off a string of swears.

"I'll tell everyone that my brother kissed you." I stated solemnly, my last threat hanging ominously in the air. A look of defeat played on his façade, and he relented, putting his hands up slightly in the air.

"Fine, fine, I'll do it." He grumbled crossly, turning warily towards it, and then briefly up towards the dark onyx heavens, as if asking the stars why on earth _he_ was the unlucky soul to have to undergo such torture.

I nodded, smirking, "Besides, haven't you always wanted to know what it was like?" I asked (a little provokingly, I suppose). He only turned to look at me out of the corner of his eyes, clear resentment residing there.

He mouthed a silent 'No', before entering the restroom. I felt rather amused, when I imagined what his face looked like. Probably, like some animal going to the slaughter.

* * *

I was leaning against the wall, bringing my hand up to cover up an enormous yawn, when Shikamaru finally came back out, pinching the bridge of his nose, and a palpable show of disdain and abhorrence reading on his countenance.

"So….?" I ventured, ever gently (more like ever unsympathetically, others might say). He had closed his eyes, and now opened one up once more to look (more like glare) at me.

"It smells _horrible_. Like lilacs and sandalwood, there's even lotion by the sink. Every now and then women go in there and talk, that's all! Just talk! There are floral designs on the walls, and I swear, you'd all go into a fit if the floor had one speck of dirt on it. Why do women even go to the bathroom together?" His words poured out of him in a flood, and I couldn't help but smirk at the judgment he had gathered of us.

I rolled my shoulder, "I don't care for the smell much, either, much too feminine for where it's used. And we talk there because you _men_ aren't that exciting, and try to get in our conversations. What's wrong with floral designs? Some people like them. And that's not true; sometimes we even get freaked out by how clean it is." I responded calmly, and then yawned again.

"Well, come on, you've got a promises to keep." I stated easily, removing myself from the wall and walking over to stand beside him.

He quirked a single brow at me, "Promise?" he echoed, not really curious, moreover, wary.

I nodded, sticking my hands into my pockets. "Mhm, you have to show me around Konoha." I said, with hints of cheerfulness. Shikamaru blinked a few times, and then a saw a glimmer of recognition in 'his' dark teal eyes.

"I never agreed to that, troublesome woman." He stated unhappily, not used to this much activity. I figured he was used to not doing much, so this was good for him, right? Make him a little more social, whether he wanted to or not. (Besides, it was fun to annoy him either way.)

"Your point?" I commented, narrowing my eyes a fraction, pretty much daring him to oppose what I wanted.

He grumbled a few, incoherent words (which, I suppose is best, seeing as how they most likely weren't the most positive things towards me), and lolled his head back with a placid sigh.

"Whatever, let's just get this over with."


	6. Issues of the Body and Mind

**Author's Note:**

Hello, my good readers.

I plan on trying to update my stories much more so, yes, be happy.

Be _very_ happy. :)

* * *

I took a few steps, dragging my time out for as long as I could before I actually made it to our apartment. (Dear lord, why does it make me feel like I'm in a relationship with this troublesome woman the more I think about it?)

My little touring guide and exposé of Konoha hadn't been the 'most colorful thing in history', so said Temari. Who, in addition, cut the whole thing short (not that I minded), by saying I was the (once more, a quote) 'worst tour guide I have ever been stuck with', and then avowed she was going back to the high-rise and ordained that I should come within fifteen minutes.

Of course, one wouldn't think me to be a punctual man (which would be a correct assumption), so now I was now currently (and finally) hauling myself up the steps, the period of time that I had been out _much_ later than fifteen minutes.

It felt like a great breath of air was finally being exhaled when I came to the door, opened it slowly, to see that the lights were off. She hadn't waited up, and now she wouldn't give me a hassle about being out too late. (Yeah…that feeling of being in a marriage with some pesky, nagging woman was really starting to wear me down. I wonder if this is how my dad felt.) But, of course-

"So, what have you been doing?" A voice rang out, from where a chair sat, tone trying to seem natural and casual, and yet I could take the hint of impatience and petulance.

-I couldn't put it past her to pull some little stunt like this.

Waiting for me to arrive home? What a completely troublesome and redundant thing to do.

When I didn't respond to her statement, I heard a faint rustling of cloth and the like, a gentle sound of her feet hitting against the cool tile, and then the lights were flick on, making me capable of seeing a frowning Temari looking at me.

She was just like a storm, I swear, and right now I was in the eye of it all, but I knew all too soon I'd probably be exposed to the harsh nature of it, and _that_ didn't sound too fun at all.

"Well? You can't even tell me what you were doing? _I_ couldn't go out and look for you, because I don't even know Konoha," Temari stated grouchily, with implications about my poor attempt to tour her around, "Besides, I-"

"Why do I have to explain myself to you?" I countered, interrupting her before she would make my brain bleed from her incessant ramblings.

She paused, blinked, and furrowed her brow all the more. "I…don't know, but it really ticked me off that you left me alone here. This is the more boring place in the world! Your 'friends' are boring, the buildings are boring, the people are boring, even the _weather_ is boring!"

I merely sighed, and then brought a hand up to run through my hair, but stopped instantaneously when I remembered I _couldn't_ do that because this wasn't my hair, the troublesome woman's hair was stuck up in two uncomfortably tight ponytails.

"I can't help it if we're all boring. It's not my job to fix it, and it's not my job to care if you're bored." I stated blandly, closing my eyes halfway…only to have them open full once more when a twinge of pain shot through my abdomen. It seemed to increase with each time it came back, fading out, and then coming back within seconds.

Reflexively, I brought both hands up to rest on it, quirking a brow in a confounded way. Why was there this ache in my stomach? I hadn't eaten anything that would give me something along the lines of food poisoning, and I hadn't been on a mission lately that would have allowed me to have gotten hit in the stomach, and even if I had, I couldn't remember ever being struck in that area, _and_ this wasn't even my body, so it couldn't have been something that _I _had done lately.

There it was again, that same troublesome pain. "Temari…" I began, pausing to wince, "…What's going on? My stomach is killing me."

She blinked, lifting her eyebrows a bit. "I haven't a clue-" Then a look of vague realization flitted in her eyes, and she smacked a hand against her face. "Oh, isn't this just _peachy_." She grumbled with a clear cynical tone.

I arched a solitary eyebrow at her- this was so troublesome- why couldn't the woman just stop grumbling long enough to tell me what was going on?

"Temari." I pressed for her attention, I could be dying. No, no…what was I thinking? I _wasn't_ thinking, that was just it…I was completely ignoring how to properly use my brain. I couldn't be dying. But if I did happen to die…would I end up perishing, or the real owner of this body?

I'm sure if the flaxen-haired kunoichi had been any lesser (and not have insanely mannish composure and nerves of steel…well, in some cases) she would have blushed, though I only managed to catch traces, if any at all.

"Eh…well you see, Crybaby," Temari began, shifting her gaze from the floor to me, "It's a thing that can only happen to a girl, and at a certain time each month."

I could tell she knew I wasn't catching on (what with my brilliant blank of slight bored stare), and now she glared (ah, yes, her persona seemed to be returning).

"The little red dot? 'That time of the month again'? You're period? Any of these things ringing a bell in that empty head of yours?" Temari asked lividly, she proceeding (much to my discontent) to continue, "And to answer your questions further, no you aren't _dying_. You'll bleed a little bit, but other than that don't worry. I'll figure out how to make it so you can…take care of your new problem."

"Are you pregnant?" I asked bluntly. Heck, I don't know much about women, and what I _do_ know is close enough to just be called nothing, when it came to things like this even someone like me was in the dark.

Her face became as hard and cold as a stone, though her eyes were irate and slightly distraught, "NO!" she roared (yes, roared…like some lioness about to go on the hunt, and I was the only prey around, mind you), "I am _not_ pregnant you empty Pineapple Head, you! It's something every girl goes through, you understand? And that doesn't mean they're knocked up!"

I simply shrugged, feeling uncomfortable (and rightly so, for a moment I thought I had been with child) under her stare. I wasn't perfect, and besides, wasn't any man open to mistakes at one point of time in his life?

"This isn't going to work." I stated, though cautiously, after all, I had an already irate woman (aka, wild animal) on my hands, "I don't know _where_ I'm going to….bleed from, and I get this nagging sensation that it isn't going to be pleasant."

She seemed thoughtful, soothed for a least a few moments.

"You're right, Crybaby, I suppose that I could ask Tsunade to put you to sleep for about a week or so, so that the conclusion to this wouldn't be that bad for you."

I help back a twitch. A week or so…? The thought of having to endure this for such a seemingly lengthy period of time to not sit well with me, but I didn't think being put to sleep and having who-knows-what being done to 'my' body (and, well, maybe the thought of Temari's body being exposed…wherever to whoever didn't tickle my fancy either…).

(….Not like, it matters that much to me what happens to the troublesome woman, I just didn't like the thought of something lewd happening and Temari, whenever this gets solved, going back home and tarnishing the name of Konoha over this little factor.)

A subtle punch to my shoulder commanded my attention, and I have it to the owner of the said fist quickly (after all, I was in enough pain with the abdomen ordeal, a shoulder in pain didn't sound like a pleasant addition).

"Wimp," Temari stated, though her eyes seemed to be soft. Immediately, I mentally stabbed myself a few times, my face must have mirrored some sort of emotion that triggered her to conceal pity. And pity from her was something that I didn't want.

"I guess we'll just go to Tsunade." She stated firmly.

"Troublesome woman, I-" But she cut me off with a glare, though it lacked its usual edge.

"It's _my_ body, Crybaby, so stop being so 'troublesome' and just take me to your where your Hokage's resides. I refuse to let you abuse my body…_or_ my clothes." Temari finished, thinking of the blood, as she pushed me to the door.


	7. Note

**Author's Note:**

Alright, well, here's what's going to happen.

I'm sorry to say that I need to sort out some of my stories.

The story title in **bold** will be the fan-fiction story that will be affecting the one you're currently reading.

Hollow Reminiscence is going to be re-written. That was my first story…and it was also when I knew very little about _Naruto_. Now, I know more, and can develop the plot into something much more enjoyable.

Graveyard Petals is being re-written.

Obscured Luminary….well, I'm not quite sure. Either I'm going on hiatus with this one for a bit, or else it's to be deleted.

Stranded on Cloud Nine shall be promptly deleted. I've no more inspiration with it.

Swaying Flower, Dancing Leaves shall continue to be written.

Preservation is going to be deleted.

**Swapped** is going on hiatus.

Unforgivable will be continued as usual.


End file.
